Category: Versery

There’s a Muslim on my flight

There’s a Muslim on my flight

  There’s a Muslim on my flight I’m not worried There’s a Muslim on my flight What?  I’m not the racist You are All I said was there’s a Muslim on the flight You’re the one that made it into something   There’s a black man on my street Walking up behind me What?  I’m…

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Tracking My Calories During the Breakup

Tracking My Calories During the Breakup

This is what I ate today: Breakfast  An egg 50 calories Coffee w/cream 30 calories Crow, unplucked, uncooked, eaten raw as I admitted I was wrong and you were right.  150 calories Lunch 1 big sandwich 250 calories Humble pie, served with a side of sheepishness, I admit once again that I was wrong about…

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Three Six Word Novels (well, almost)

Three Six Word Novels (well, almost)

NOVEL ONE  – (ANGRY YOUNG MAN FICTION) Fuck your Never worn baby shoes I ain’t buyin em. (But if you are giving them away for free text me)   NOVEL TWO (DARK COMEDY) I would like To return the never worn baby shoes I bought from you. My baby died. (these shoes are fucking cursed)…

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Poetry Slam Syndrome

Poetry Slam Syndrome

Scion of science Dr. Cyrus Syernick sighs, most science studies are in fact unscientific.  “The media is mean t’ya, I mean, the mean meaning’s a miasma.  Asthma, plasma and xanthelasma studies by my buddies of fuddy duddies are ruddy nonsense.  Scents of pseudoscience abound and can be found all around you’d be astounded.” Doctor Syernick…

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Crappy Van Gogh Poster

Crappy Van Gogh Poster

(To the Tune of “Vincent”, by Don McLean) Starry starry night Poster frame of blue and grey I saw at a yard sale today Who would buy that? I really want to know? Shadows on the porch Some golf clubs and a tiki torch Some dirty jeans and women’s shorts A print by Escher and…

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I’m Hiding from My City

I’m Hiding from My City

Everything that seems so great about my city is really very harmful The restaurants so fun, fattening me up for my first heart attack The bars so steam punk and sourced wood, make my alcoholism seem clever The weed emporiums so pungent, sap my motivation The new shops sustainable and running up my credit card…

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