Recumbent Bicyclist is a Very Sick and Twisted Individual

Recumbent Bicyclist is a Very Sick and Twisted Individual

by Simon Black

I was suspicious of him immediately.  Have you seen this guy?  He’s got a dark grey goatee and is quite skinny.  And he rides around on one of those recumbent bicycles.   I see him all over town.  The same guy.  Man, he puts a lot of miles on that sitting-down bike.

First of all, skinny people make me nervous.  And why does he have to exercise so much if he’s already skinny?  That was my first worry.

It soon became clear that he’s not riding his recumbent bicycle for exercise.  No.  Not at all.  It’s much more sinister than that.

I was on vacation in Sun Valley, Idaho.  And there he was again.  The recumbent bicyclist with the grey goatee.  The very skinny guy.  “That could be a coincidence,” I told myself. “He took his vacation the same time as me.”

I was on business in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  There he was.

“This is not a coincidence,” I said to myself.  “This guy is everywhere I go!”

I came back home.  I walked down to the end of the block.  I saw him pedaling by.  I waved at him.  He did not wave back.

“Maybe he’s not a friendly guy,” I said.  “But that’s no reason to jump to conclusions.  There’s bound to be a logical explanation for this.”

But then, I spent the weekend in Catalina.  My wife and I woke up.  We were having the greatest time at this wonderful old hotel.  We walked down to the waterfront.  And there he was, pedalling by in his tight little cyclist outfit on his recumbent bicycle.  And he was grinning at me.  It was not a friendly grin.  It was a sinister grin.

“Come on, honey,” I said urgently.  “Let’s get out of here.”

Back at the hotel I explained to her that this guy on the recumbent bike has been following me around for months.  Stalking me. 

“Why would he do that,” my wife very wisely inquired.

“I have no idea,” I said.  “He’s obviously a very sick and twisted individual.”

My wife looked at me.

He’s the sick and twisted individual?” she said.  “He’s riding around on his bike.  You’re being paranoid.”

Hmmm.  That made me think.  Anybody who grew up in the 60s or 70s knows that paranoia will destroy you.  So I was quite concerned.   I did not want to be destroyed.

“First of all,” I objected.  “That’s not a bike.  You’re using the wrong word.  That is a bizarre, awful contraption that keeps you low to the ground as you move.  Think about it.  What creature likes to stay low to the ground as it moves?”

“I’m not going to answer that.”

“Snakes.  That’s what.  He’s a snake!”

“You’re insane,” my wife said.  “You need help.  Please get help.”

That was good advice.  And that is why I am writing this.  I need your help.  I started snapping photos with my iPhone every time I saw the recumbent cyclist.  I have photos of the bicyclist in 14 different cities and in seven different states that I have traveled to in the last two months.  Click here on this link to see the photos.  You will see that I am not being paranoid.  It is the same guy!  I even found out his name.  He is Peter S. Penfield.  He lives in Los Angeles, CA and he is a nuclear physicist who works at JPL, that’ s the Jet Propulsion Laboratories out in Pasadena.  But obviously he doesn’t spend much time at work.   He must be semi-retried or something because he spends most of his time following me around.

But why?  That is the question.  The answer will shock you, and maybe scare the bicycle pants right off you.   Stay tuned.

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